Limits
by Expectropotronum
Summary: Reeling from the events in the graveyard, Harry Potter ends up resorting to drug use. Will end up being Snape mentors Harry. Warning also includes self-harm. NOT slash. Rated M to be safe.
1. introduction

Limits

My first fanfic (be nice) no beta yet.

Rated M to be safe.

Warning: Drug use and probably self- harm, do not read if you cant handle it.

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

Will take place at the end of the fourth book Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but will mostly be book five Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

Will NOT be slash.

Will probably contain some Dursleys abuse of Harry but nothing graphic.

And as the warning above says drug use will be throughout most of the story and the main theme.

And self-harm will probably be used I will just see where the story goes.

Troubled Harry but not dark.

Probably Snape mentors Harry later on.

OK enough of my ramblings let's get on with the story and I hope you enjoy and its different. :)

Harry sat up shakily in bed, the events of the night before crashing his mind like a ton of bricks. The image of Cedric's dead unmoving eyes etched onto his mind, almost as if it was a picture constantly in his line of vision.

Harry visibly shivered and not just from the terribly messed up, jumbled thoughts, going through his head; but from the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse. Harry was use to pain, but nothing could of prepared him for what he experienced in the graveyard.

Harry shakily sat up in bed and felt around the tabletop next to the bed for his glasses. Seeing the curtains drawn around his bed he hoped no one would disturb him, he just wanted to be alone. But alas he was Harry Potter and nothing ever went the way he wanted, so at that precise moment Madame Pomfrey opened the curtains around his bed.

Madame Pomfrey started talking straight away "Good your awake, you can have breakfast now. Good grief you look like you need it, we need to get your energy up. Professor Dumbledore wants to see you in his office, he wants you to explain to Mr Diggorys parents what happened last night." Harry tuned Madame Pomfrey out as she started muttering about Dumbledore and Harry's health being more important.

Harry felt as if he had been plunged into a bowl of ice cold water, having to already explain everything to Dumbledore the night before had been hard enough. For the first time in his life Harry just wanted to run away and forget about everything altogether, no one understood him he was at despair at himself as his thoughts became darker and more depressed.

He was bought out of his thoughts by Madame Pomfrey placing the breakfast tray on his lap, Harry downed his glass of water with shaking hands as he had never felt so thirsty before in his life. However the thought of eating the breakfast just made him feel sick, why should he eat, he thought about how he didn't deserve to eat it was his fault Cedric was dead. Harry knew his thoughts were turning dangerous so tried to occupy his mind by playing with his food.

Not much longer Dumbledore arrived in the hospital wing and went straight to Harry's bed "Ah Harry your finally awake if you go up to your dormitory and get changed, could you go to my office I need you to chat to Mr Diggorys parents. Remember Pumpkin Pasties". Harry was scared to go Dumbledore's office but was thankful to leave, so rushed out of the hospital wing past the arguing Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore.

Harry decided to take a stroll using the secret passageways everything was just so hard he needed some space and time, his emotions making Harry feel even more confused he just wanted to stop thinking and feeling anything and everything. To soon for Harry's liking he was outside the Gryffindor portrait, as Harry was asked for the 'password' his mind went blank he couldn't think of anything but the night before.

Luckily for Harry at that moment Neville tumbled out of the portrait hole. "Alright Harry" Neville said without thinking before he realised his mistake, Neville looked into Harry's cold emotionless eyes and decided to leave Harry for the time being.

Harry got into the boys dorm without thinking, like a machine he went and had a shower. Before Harry knew it he was washed and dressed, Harry thought about where Ron and Hermione could be, but the thought left him quickly and without a further thought he was on his way to Dumbledore's office.

Next thing Harry knew he was outside Dumbledore's office, he said the password as fear clouded his whole being. Harry walked into Dumbledore's office without knocking, feeling drained and like he was surrounded by mist. As Harry explained everything to the Diggorys he felt detached like it wasn't even him saying the words, even forgetting where he was at times.

Harry remembered trying to give his winnings to the Diggorys and them refusing, the tears that they shed, Dumbledore telling Harry he was brave for being able to explain what happened and facing his problems head on. But as Harry wandered to the forbidden forest he mused that he couldn't remember much else, it scared Harry a bit that he had blanks from the day but decided to not worry to much. Anyway he had much bigger things to worry about such as the fact it was his fault Cedric was dead, it was his fault Quirell was dead, worst of all it was his fault his parents were dead.

Voldemort told Harry how his mum protected him even though she didn't have to, they should of let him be killed it was his fault they were dead.

As Harry inspected a leaf he wondered why he was such bad luck, why he always got everyone killed, and what life would be like if he were never born. It was with those depressing thoughts swirling through his head, that Harry ended up passed out by a tree within the forbidden forest.


	2. Chapter 1

chapter 1

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

Warning there is going to be self-harm, binge drinking and smoking in this chapter.

I didn't plan for it to happen but the story done its own thing.

On the bright side I don't think this chapter is quite as depressing as before.

let's continue :)

Harry didn't awake until it was dark, for a moment Harry thought he was back in the graveyard. He could see Cedric's unmoving eyes, Voldemort rising from the ashes, being put under the Cruciatus curse. Harry managed to come back to his surroundings before he had a panic attack.

Harry realised he was in the forbidden forest. He got up on shaky legs and started to move out of the dark forest. Once he was out of the forest he saw Hagrid, Hagrid just gave a sad look and told him to come over his when he had time. He hated the look Hagrid was giving him, he didn't understand why no one was having a go. He got Cedric killed, he told him to take the cup with him.

Once he was in the castle he saw Professor McGonagall, Harry then realised it was probably past curfew. However to Harry's surprise McGonagall just gave him that look, the same look Hagrid gave him, the look he didn't deserve.

The next moment Harry was outside the common room, but he still couldn't remember the password. Harry decided to just wait outside the common room and get his thoughts together.

About half an hour later Ron and Hermione opened the portrait hole, they looked relieved to see Harry there. The common room was now empty except the trio, they automatically moved next to the fireplace in silence.

Harry decided to break the silence by asking what they had done all day. They told Harry, Dumbledore had spoken to the school that morning, asking the school to leave Harry alone and not ask questions. Harry was thankful for that. Ron and Hermione spent the day with Mrs Weasley, until she had to go have a meeting with Dumbledore.

Ron and Hermione also mentioned they went to the Hospital wing, but Harry wasn't there. Harry just said he had to talk with the Diggorys, ending the conversation. Not much later Ron and Hermione went to bed, sensing that Harry wanted to be alone.

The silence was to much for Harry, he noticed he was still shaking, from nerves or the Cruciatus curse he had no idea. Deciding it was to much he decided to wander the castle, curfew be damned. Not even bothering getting his cloak or map, Harry started to wander down some dark corridors. Only seeing one or two ghosts along the way he started to let the peacefulness overcome him.

As Harry started descending by the kitchens he noticed it was starting to get light out, he decided to take refuge in the kitchens. Harry didn't want to bump into the Hufflepuffs, he couldn't bear what they thought of him. Before Harry knew it he was surrounded by a hoard of house elves trying to pass him a load of food. Harry decided to have a bread roll and go talk to Dobby. Dobby looked up at Harry with sad glistening eyes, almost like diamonds.

Harry saw that Winky was passed out on the floor gripping a bottle of butterbeer. Dobby told Harry that Winky had got worse blaming herself for the events, and was trying to forget, tears were now leaking out of his round orbs. Harry wondered if it would work for him, he would do anything to forget. Harry looked at the shelf above the fireplace and saw some liquor, fire whiskey and vodka.

Harry decided to take all three and sit down next to Winky, as he handed Dobby a glass of butterbeer. Dobby looked at Harry with nerves, but started to drink his butterbeer whilst Harry watched all the other house elves cook food for breakfast. Around three hours later Harry was dancing around with Dobby, after drinking a bottle of cherry liquor and a bottle of fire whiskey.

As the other house elves started to prepare lunch, Harry just watched as the room spun around. After around an hour Harry started to feel sick from the room moving in circles, so decided to finally eat his bread roll and down his vodka as fast as possible. Harry couldn't even put a thought together.

He decided to go for a wander around the corridors, it took Harry a good fifteen minutes to leave the kitchens. Harry started to wander around laughing every time he fell over, he hadn't felt this good in ages if ever. Everything was just hilarious. As Harry was by the great hall, he thought it would be a good idea to get his schoolbag and go get some more alcohol.

It took Harry a good two and a half hours to get to his dorm, however he had stopped on the way there to help Peeves play dung bombs with the other students. Harry managed to remember the password as he went to retrieve his bag. On the way he decided to play a game of exploding snap with Fred and George and actually won, no one ever beat Fred and George. They commentated that it was good that Harry was feeling better, making him remember what was wrong.

Harry stumbled up to his dorm all the depressing thoughts from the past couple of days rising up, but not making complete sense to his drunken mind. Before he knew it he had his Potions knife out and was watching the light bounce of it. He sat their mesmerized for a good ten minutes, before he started sliding it across his wrists. He watched as bright red blood slid down his arm, combined with the pain and alcohol making Harry forget why he was upset.

Harry spent a good twenty minutes at peace with the world, he had four cuts on his wrist. Deciding to wash the blood off he had a shower, then took his schoolbag and went on his way back to the kitchen, completely ignoring Ron and Hermione on his way out. By the time Harry had made it back to the kitchens, the house elves were preparing dinner and he had sobered up quite a bit.

Harry decided to put two bottles of vodka, a bottle of chocolate liquor, two bottles of fire whiskey and some weird wizarding shots in his bag. Harry then decided to have a nap on the sofa next to the fireplace, not wanting to bump into the Hufflepuffs. Harry had the best nights sleep he had in ages, he assumed it was to do with the alcohol. Harry went to leave the kitchens when he spotted a pack of straights and a lighter on a cabinet, he didn't know what compelled him to do it but he took them deciding to be reckless.

As he stepped into the dark courtyard he thought that he's always been reckless anyway, heck he wouldn't be surprised if it was his middle name. But it was his recklessness that had got Cedric killed, a tear escaped him as he thought of those dead cold eyes looking up at him. Before he knew it he had a fag in his mouth and was trying to light it, he spent a good ten minutes before he managed to light his fag. Then he started to cough up everywhere not use to the smoke, it took him several tokes until he found out how to take his fag back properly. As Harry spent a good five minutes getting use to smoking, he was getting calmer and calmer.

After his fag he decided to go back to his common room, on the way he saw Snape who said something about curfew but he wasn't paying attention. Before he knew it he was in the common room walking up to Ron and Hermione, Hermione beamed at him as she and Ron continued playing wizards chess. Harry just enjoyed watching them play the game, his whole mind going devoid of emotion.

Harry just looked around the common room looking at random stuff and having random thoughts. Harry didn't even notice when Ron and Hermione went bed, he was just enjoying the calm. When he started to feel drained he went to bed, not realising it was just before he had to get up for school.


	3. Chapter 2

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

let's get this story rolling, J.K Rowling :P

It hardly felt like an hour since he put his head on his pillow, when Ron was trying to drag him out of bed. "C'mon Harry, were really late. we've got Herbology first as well, which means were gunna have to sprint to the greenhouse." However Harry was too tired to move. In the end Ron ended up going to the greenhouses alone, no more than an hour later Harry's own screaming jerked him awake.

He supposed that he was lucky to be by himself, he couldn't imagine the shame if someone had heard him. Suddenly he realised that he couldn't stop shivering, he guessed this was still from the Cruciatus curse. Harry groaned knowing he was going to have to see Madam Pomfrey, he really hoped it would go away but nothing ever goes the way he wants.

Harry decided to have a shower and get changed into his school uniform, but with the tremors he was experiencing it was taking a very long time to do simple things. By the time he was ready he felt exhausted. He ended up curled up into himself, letting his mind wonder to thoughts and memories he was resisting before.

A series of flashbacks plagued his mind over and over again, as he tried to find the energy to get up. Weak that's what he was, weak and powerless. He also knew he should be dead, how many times had he come close to death now. It wasn't normal, maybe his aunt was right he must be a freak. Harry was snapped out of his thoughts by tapping on his shoulders, he looked up to see Ron's concerned face looking down at him.

"Hermione's gone to get McGonagall, you really scared us then mate. Hermione reckons you were having flashbacks, said she read it in a book. I've been trying to get you to respond for a good ten minutes, just don't scare me like that again you hear me." Harry could hear the fear in Ron's voice. No more than five minutes later Hermione and McGonagall came ambling in, looking like they had just tried to outrun Aragog.

McGonagall was the first one to speak "Thank Merlin your now responsive Potter, Hermione just told me what happened. Reckons you were having some form of flashbacks." he just nodded at McGonagall. Harry noticed he was extremely thirsty and shaking worse than ever. He tried to clear his throat "Um well Professor I think I need something, I mean I was put under the Cruciatus that night. I just can't stop shaking." he looked up nervously at McGonagall. She had gone pale white and ambled out the dorm saying she would be back in minute.

Ron and Hermione helped Harry onto the bed, not much longer McGonagall and a scowling Snape came in. McGonagall gave him a vial of potion, he downed the rank potion. Not five minutes later the shaking had stopped, Harry uttered his thanks. Snape left with the swish of his cloak. McGonagall told Harry that she expected to see him in Transfiguration, with one final look she left the dorm.

"Mate let's get up and go Divination, then its just double Transfiguration. You sure your alright." Harry answered Ron by saying he wanted to go to the kitchens and get some water. Harry wanted to skip Divination, all he needed right now was his death predicted. Hermione went to go to class and Ron went with Harry to the kitchens.

They got there just as the bell rung for class, before they knew it they were surrounded by house elves. Harry requested some water and he was given a huge jug which he proceeded to down. He put the rest in a huge mug and went to sit down next to Dobby and Winky, Winky was just rocking forwards and backwards going 'my fault' 'my fault' 'my fault'. He knew exactly how she felt. He spent a while sipping his drink relishing how soothing it was. Harry noticed that Ron was looking at him funny.

"What." Harry asked, Ron answered nervously "Its just well were skipping class. My mum is going to kill me if she finds out." Harry just proceeded to smirk at Ron and tap the seat next to him. Ron, Harry and Dobby proceeded to have idle chit chat the next half hour. He then decided he needed a fag if he was going to have to deal with lessons. Before Harry knew it he was on the outer skirts on the forbidden forest, Ron came chasing after him.

He was able to light his fag third time this time, but he still proceeded to cough everywhere with his first toke. Ron looked at Harry wearily, but as Harry started to relax with the fag Ron let it pass. He was nearly done with his fag when Ron exclaimed that they were going to be late for Transfiguration, he didn't care though and proceeded to take his time. When Harry and Ron got to Transfiguration they were ten minutes late, luckily McGonagall let it pass. When they sat down next to Hermione she complained about the smell of smoke and proceeded to accuse them of smoking. Ron looked bewildered not knowing what Harry had done was what the muggles called smoking. Harry tried to go for a politely bewildered look.

Hermione just gave Harry a pointed look and started to complain about how bad it was for your teeth. He just ended up zoning out and thinking of what socks he should get Dobby next, he was wondering whether dobby would want some frilly pink socks, when he was snapped out of his thoughts. McGonagall was stood in front him asking how his work was getting on, he started to blunder on sounding just like Neville, not knowing what they where doing. McGonagall just sighed and asked him to try and transfigure his flobberworm into a piece of string. Not even knowing what spell they where using all he could do was look at her and look befuddled, McGonagall looked angry and told him to stay behind after class.

As McGonagall asked them to spend the remainder of their lesson on an essay about there string, he started to feel really agitated. Everything sounded as if it was buzzing, the sounds of the quills making him more and more agitated. Everything felt too calm and too annoying. Harry started to figit feeling as if his head was going to explode. He couldn't breath he had to get out. But he couldn't leave, it would just make McGonagall madder.

Instead he tried to speak to Ron and Hermione, however Hermione just kept on shushing him and Ron kept on looking at McGonagall scared. Luckily the bell went and McGonagall dismissed the class. As the rest of the class went Harry started to wander the class thankful for something to do. McGonagall asked Harry what he was doing, he decided to just admit how he was feeling. "Well everything just feels so much, I feel as if I'm on the breaking point. I don't know what I'm thinking or feeling, sometimes I just feel as if I'm being suffocated. I just feel so alone and scared."

McGonagall obviously didn't know what to say to that, she offered to talk if Harry ever needed it. However she also said he needs to work harder and has detention after dinner. But she understands he's going through a lot. Harry felt like he was going to cry, he just told McGonagall stuff he wouldn't tell anyone, but she didn't know what to do. He must be a worthless freak if even McGonagall doesn't know what to say. He always knew it was bad speaking to adults why does he even try.

Harry decided to have a stroll around the grounds before his detention, he saw Hagrid at one point but he merely waved. Harry felt glad he had Hagrid, one of the only adults in his life who he could trust, he swore to himself that he would see Hagrid before he left. Harry sat by the quidditch pitch and had another fag, with much more ease this time. Then went back up to the school for his detention with McGonagall, he had to write lines saying 'I must pay attention in class'.

At one point to Harry's surprise Dumbledore came in, he went straight over to McGonagall. Not long after they were having an argument, but they had used a silencing spell since Harry couldn't hear them. It was obvious they were arguing about him though, because McGonagall kept on pointing at him and Dumbledore kept on looking at him. As soon as Dumbledore had left, McGonagall dismissed him.

When he got back to the common room he decided to just watch Ron and Hermione chat about classes, as he thought through the days events. After a while Ron told Harry that his mum had a meeting with Dumbledore, his mum had been told he had to go back to the Dursleys. But she wanted Harry to go there's straight away, apparently she weren't pleased with what she had heard about the Dursleys. But Dumbledore was adamant that Harry had to go to the Dursleys, but should be able to go to the Weasleys at some point. Ron didn't look pleased about Harry going the Dursleys though.

Harry decided he probably deserved it for what he done to Cedric, it didn't make him feel any better though. He decided to watch Ron and Hermione play gobstones, whilst his thoughts turned dark and dangerous. When Ron decided to go bed Harry went after him, got his invisibility cloak, closed his curtains and faked sleep. When Ron was snoring Harry decided to down half of his chocolate liquor. He tried some of the wizarding shots, which weren't to bad but made his skin multicoloured for a while.

He took his school bag and put his invisibility cloak over him, when he got down to the common room he found Fred and George planning their end of year filch prank. Harry smiled thinking of the prank they pulled on him last year, no one would ever forget how he turned into a tap dancing ballerina. Harry decided he wanted to do his own pranking this year, he also decided that alcohol makes him come up with some brilliant ideas.

Harry started to wander the corridors downing his bottle of fire whiskey trying to find Peeves. He found Peeves by the charms corridor and started to let the chaos begin. Him and Peeves had the time of there lives, Harry found some super sticky glue in filches office, he had a lot of fun sticking anything and everything around the school. Harry gave Peeves some of Fred and Georges fireworks to set of at filch, they both set dungbombs of everywhere. Harry went to the greenhouses and found some plants that get you high, with Peeves telling him which done what and put it with the ingredients the house elves had set up for the next day.

Whilst he was down in the kitchens Harry got Dobby to go with him to Hogsmead so he could buy the elf some socks. He downed half a bottle of vodka on his way back to school. But when he got back he realised most people were already up and school would be starting soon. Harry just laughed at himself, at the thought of going Snapes lesson pissed. He went out had a fag. Then decided to go to his dormitory and get changed for the day.


	4. Chapter 3

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

Hopefully this chapter is better than my last :P Let's get started :)

Harry took of his invisibility cloak and watched the drama unfold, it looked as if his pranking had worked, everything was chaos. When Harry got to the common room, he saw McGonagall dragging Fred and George out of the common room by their ears. Harry couldn't help but chuckle at there half amused half angry faces. Harry went to get changed whilst Ron questioned him about where he had been.

Harry went to breakfast with Ron and Hermione, they sat at the very end of the Gryffindor table. Harry still didn't want to be noticed. He was amazed when he noticed half the school was falling asleep and the other half had suddenly gone super hyper. He guessed Peeves was right about the drugs and was highly amused with how well his plan had gone. It was only then that he noticed Hermione was studying him, he turned away from her knowing she was too smart for his own good. It was at that moment that he saw Crabbe and Goyle doing the truffle shuffle, whilst Malfoy was trying to keep his eyes open. Harry decided to leave the Great Hall for his own good, playing innocent wasn't easy.

As Harry made it by the front doors of the castle he bumped into Fred and George. "Ah Harry just the man we were looking for." "We know." "Oh yes we know." "Brilliant plan we must say.". Harry tuned them out as he started to wonder if anyone else had figured out, well he figured Hermione had by now. But all he wanted was some fun, something he had so little of his whole life. By the time he had come back to his surroundings Fred and George had gone, he decided to go outside for a quick fag. Knowing he had to deal with Snape.

As he was walking towards the forbidden forest he saw Hagrid, he promised the half-giant that he would see him before the feast. Making Hagrid very happy. He then saw Victor Krum who was very amused by the chaos going on inside the castle, he also told Harry that he could talk to him if he ever needed to. He thought this was very kind of the Bulgarian, especially as he had killed his own classmate. As Harry sat by his favourite tree puffing his fag, he realised he would be going back to the Dursleys the next day. All this done was give him dread, he felt as if he had dived into the black lake and he actually knew what that felt like now. Realising he was going to be late for class he legged it back to the castle and down to the dungeons.

Harry managed to get to his seat just in time, to Snapes displeasure. He noticed that Snape looked angrier than usual, with a snarl that would usually make Hufflepuffs hide. Harry would probably guess his pranking had something to do with it, he smirked at managing to get his potions professor so riled up. It was only then that he noticed Snape was looking him straight in the eye, not for the first time he felt as if Snape could read minds. Suddenly Snape shouted "See me after class Mr Potter", Ron called Snape a bastard as Harry wondered if he knew.

By the end of the lesson Harry was 99% sure Snape knew, Snape was vanishing his potion approximately every five minutes for some mistake he had apparently made. He didn't care either way and it didn't really bother him, by the end of the lesson Harry was knackered the night before finally catching up with him.

As he went up to Snape he finally went numb, he loved this feeling. It was tranquility he felt at peace, so much so that he wasn't even taking in a word Snape was saying. As he came out of his reverie he realised Snape was shouting about the foolishness of pranks, so he knew then. He then realised Snape had said he could of got someone killed, well he had already done that numerous times self hatred started revolving around his head. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND" "yes sir" Harry automatically said "GOOD DISMISSED" Harry walked out of the classroom as fast as possible.

He realised he had missed break so wouldn't even be able to have a fag before charms class. As he sat next to Ron and Hermione in class he went numb, not even realising he had fallen asleep before long.

He was woken up by Ron poking him in the ribs saying something about divination, he decided he didn't want to go so went to go to his dormitory. When Ron realised Harry was going the other direction he stopped him asking where he was going, Harry explained that he was going to go sleep for a bit. He said he would see Ron at lunch, then they would go down to Hagrid's. As they had the rest of the day off to get packed and for the end of year feast. Ron seemed excited about going to see Hagrid and went off for divination.

Harry managed to get on his bed before he passed out. Luckily he didn't have any nightmares as he was so exhausted, he had always had nightmares but recently they had been so bad he avoided sleep unless he was drunk. Alcohol seemed to stop him getting nightmares, however this time he woke up with pain in his scar. He decided he would tell Ron and Hermione and then he would tell Dumbledore after the leaving feast. He checked the time and luckily lunch had only just started.

He decided to lean out the window and have a fag before they went Hagrid's, relieving the fear he had about his scar a bit. Deciding to spray himself knowing that otherwise Hermione will realise.

As soon as Harry got down to the great hall Hermione started a rant at him. "Harry what do you think your doing Fred and George told me you were the one responsible for the chaos this morning. You drugged us all I know, Goyle tried to fly off the astronomy tower without a broom." Harry replied smartly "Well he probably would of tried that either way." it was answered to a load of sniggers, by the Gryffindors who were listening.

Hermione had a look of shock on her face "I'm not finished with you. You've been smoking, the spray only makes it worse Harry. You know its really bad for your health, not to mention your teeth" Harry just gave her a frustrated growl. "Oh I'm not finished Ron told me you missed divination today, as well as the other day, you can't go missing classes" Ron gave an apologetic look towards harry "And don't think I can't smell the alcohol you don't even try to hide it, look..." Hermione stopped talking, Harry could guess she was about to say something about Cedric.

Hermione just looked up guiltily confirming Harry's suspicion. He looked up to see most of the Gryffindors and some Ravenclaws were watching them. He dragged Ron and Hermione out of the hall, towards an empty classroom. He told them about his scar hurting. Ron seemed scared, but Hermione just told him its probably normal now and he should tell Dumbledore. Then they went down to Hagrid's.

Hagrid really helped cheer Harry up and gave him some great advise. He was really pleased he had the half giant, someone who he could really count on. He felt in some ways, he was the only one who understood what he was going through. He left Hagrid's in good spirits and went up to the great hall, following behind Madam Maxine and the Beauxbatons. However the great feast just reminded Harry of everything that went on, Dumbledore's speech helped him a bit but he didn't like the attention on him.

After the feast Harry went to tell Dumbledore about his scar, but Dumbledore was already leaving. Almost as if he was trying to ignore Harry. Harry decided to chase him and tell him about his scar, Dumbledore just told him it was normal now and rushed off. On the way back to the common room, all Harry could think about was how much Dumbledore was disgusted by him. He couldn't even look him in the eye.

By the time Harry got back to the common room he was severely depressed, he just sat down and watched Ron and Hermione play chess. He thought about how disgusted Dumbledore obviously was with him, the disgusted looks he'd seen some Hufflepuffs give him. And what his parents would think. After a while he was bought out of his reverie by Fred and George handing out the last of there sweets, watching the craziness. He came up with an idea of what to do with his Triwizard money.

The happiness was infectious, soon Harry decided to enjoy his last night and play chess with Ron. As the end of year party started to go in swing he decided to go bed and get some sleep. He had a quick fag and ended up passed out, he was woke up by his recurring nightmare of the graveyard. All he could think about was Cedric's cold dead eyes, watching him, judging him in disappointment.

He felt terrible he closed his curtains around his bed, then quickly got out his potions knife. He decided to cut his thighs this time, two in a cross. He felt numb and elated. It almost felt as good as that time he flew on buckbeak. He relaxed for a good half hour.

He then decided to have a quick shower, remembering that he probably won't get that many at the Dursleys. Not long after he got in the showers Ron started calling for him. He was monumentally scared, that Ron had found out what he had done somehow. But it turned out it was because they had Astronomy, he had completely forgotten about that. He let himself go numb again. He got changed and went with the rest of his Gryfindor year, to the astronomy tower.

He passed the party and saw that now most people were comatose, by the drink. His classmates were suspiciously giddy on the way to the astronomy tower, he suspected they had a fair bit of alcohol. Even Hermione was a bit suspiciously excited for their lesson. He knew she liked school, but she usually weren't jumping up and down, skipping down the corridor because of a lesson.

Looking up at the stars just helped relax him more, his work was apparently really good according to his teacher. On the way back to the dorm he felt really at peace with the world, by the time he got back to bed he managed to get a good nights sleep.


	5. Chapter 4

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

We all love Harry Potter and of course this story isn't as amazing but I hope its good enough and you enjoy this next chapter :)

Harry woke up with dread in his stomach, today he was going back to the Dursleys. He felt sad to be leaving his home, Hogwarts for all its faults was the place he had been happiest. Suddenly his thoughts turned dark, he had taken this from Cedric. Cedric who had always been happy, had a good life. Been ripped from his life, all thanks to Voldemort and his own recklessness.

Sometimes he felt like screaming out at Voldemort, asking to bring back everyone he killed. This is what Voldemort does, rip people from their loved ones. It was also something Harry does, something else he had in common with Voldemort.

His packing took up most of the last day. When he got onto the train, he figured that it was weird that he had mostly blanks from the past week. He felt a lot of respect for Fleur Delacure and Victor Krum, they still supported him even though he killed his classmate. He was truly proud that he was in the competition with such noble people, what they had said before he got on the carriages really helped elate his mood.

On the train Hermione explained about Rita Skeeter and to make it better they gave Crabbe, Goyle and Malfoy some awesome hexes. They all just played games on the way back, enjoying the last moments of freedom. It wasn't until they got to platform 9 3/4 that Harry let the dread fill him, he managed to make Fred and George take his Triwizard winnings. This made him feel a bit better, it took the guilt off a bit, he would of never have been able to spend that money.

Soon he was surrounded by most of his favourite people, but blushed when Mrs Weasley hugged him remembering when he was in the hospital wing. But not long after he was following an extremely angry Vernon Dursley. His good mood had completely gone by the time he got in the car.

The ride back to the Dursleys was silent and tense. As soon as Harry got back to the street, he realised they had a new next door neighbor. He could tell that they were different to anyone else on Privet Drive straight away. They had a broken TV in their front garden, a bench where what looked like a couple of chavs were sitting smoking. Their front door was wide open and there was broken glass everywhere. Harry sure hoped they weren't friends with Dudley. He sure has had enough Harry hunting to last him a lifetime.

Vernon scoffed at the residents and dragged Harry into the house. As soon as he got in Petunia screeched for him to take his stuff upstairs and start dinner. As he put his trunk in his room, he guessed he was actually allowed his stuff this year, they obviously were still scared about Sirius. Harry smiled thinking of his godfather. His happiness was soon broken, by Petunia shouting for him to start dinner.

As he was doing dinner he realised he really wanted a fag. As he sat down for dinner, that's all he could think about. He ended up just playing with his food. Vernon noticing this just made a joke about Harry poisoning the food. I wish thought Harry, might as well finish of the whole family, he thought darkly. It was only then he noticed Dudley weren't home. Not much later Petunia mentioned that Dudley was eating round a friends house.

Before long Vernon took Harry's dinner eating it himself, just saying that Harry weren't eating it. Harry just left the table and went upstairs to have a fag. He opened the window and started puffing, he could clearly hear his new neighbors talking. He couldn't hear Dudley with them, which relieved him a bit. They were talking about what was obviously drugs, mud, coke, ecstasy, grass, smileys, nos, acid. He didn't know what drugs they all were but knew most, grass was weed, coke was cocaine, smileys were pills, nos was laughing gas and acid was well acid. He went to bed with different thoughts that night, just wondering what drugs were like and if he would enjoy them.


	6. Chapter 5

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

I also don't own Eminem just letting you know :P

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

I'm on a roll nah I'm not gunna do that joke haha :P let's begin :)

Harry woke up covered in sweat from another one of his nightmares, of course it was about the graveyard. Dread and self hatred filled his whole being, thinking about Cedric and Voldemort was so hard.

Harry wanted to know what was going on, what the Ministry and Dumbledore was doing about Voldemort. Harry saw what Fudge was like in the hospital wing, but surely Fudge would have to do something.

When disappearances started happening and dark marks start cropping up in different places. It was just a matter of waiting now, just like Hagrid had said. He started to wonder if he was truly safe at Privet Drive, what was stopping Voldemort getting here. Harry shivered at the thought of Voldemort gliding down the road.

He checked the road just in case but the road was empty, however he could hear the new neighbors laughing. Harry wondered what they were doing and whever he should introduce himself. Well he wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing, he faced Voldemort for goodness sake. He put on his trackies and a hoodie, then decided to put the Vodka in his pocket for a housewarming treat. Then picked up his fags and lighter and started to climb out the window.

He jumped onto the grass for an easy landing. He walked to the little wall separating their front gardens, then realised this probably weren't such a good idea. "What do you want eh." some gobby girl with her hair in a high up ponytail, wearing a baggy hoodie, some short shorts and quite good looking. " Yea you spying on us or something." said the boy who looked as if he owned several STDs, wearing a dark hoodie and trackies, a grey cap on his head with rotting teeth.

The last boy jumped in though "What's that you've got in you're pocket tho, housewarming gift eh." he looked as if he was trying to be Eminem, with died blond hair, a lip piercing and a matching grey tracksuit, his teeth luckily looked in good shape.

Harry decided to sit on the wall he had come this far "Yea actually I thought I'd introduce myself to the new neighbors, all the rest seem to think I'm some sort of hooligan." this seemed to get chuckles out of the group and Harry gave the bottle of vodka to the Eminem wannabe.

He found out the girl was called Dani, short for Danielle but he was to never call her Danielle. The boy with rotting teeth was called Kane and lived at the house, as he had a falling out with his parents and had nowhere else to go. Harry supposed he must of forgot his toothbrush. The Eminem wannabe actually lived at the house and was called Jake, not Jacob he has never been Jacob and never will be. Jake was going out with Dani, so she pretty much lived at the house.

Soon Harry was puffing away on his fag getting drunk with everyone, drinking the vodka. Telling everyone what the Dursleys told everyone about him. But instead of disdain they met what was said with chuckles, he also told them he went St Brutises which was met with an oooh from the trio.

They proceeded to tell the tales that they had heard from the school whilst Harry just nodded along. "Ey what's your name you didn't say." Jacob asked "Harry, Harry Potter." Harry replied "Harry, very formal name don't ya think." Kane replied "How about we call you Hazza is that alright." Dani replied. Not knowing what else to say Harry just replied "Yeah sure." this was met with murmurs of agreement.

"Alright Hazza fancy some grass if ya know what I mean." Kane asked, deciding to be reckless and as he wanted to try it anyway Harry just replied "Yea sure.". "Do ya know how to roll it." Dani asked "Na i only do straights." after a quick discussion about how Harry was a newbie, Dani decided to roll him a spliff.

When Harry first started it he couldn't stop shaking for some reason. But by the time he had finished the spliff he felt completely calm. It really helped numb the pain of the world, he reckoned that if he saw Voldemort now he would probably hug him. Harry then shivered at the thought of hugging Voldemort, no that would be too gross. He would feel sympathy for anyone who had to hug that creep.

Harry started to hear moans and looked over to see Dani and Jake making out, all he could do was make a disgusted face. Kane just chuckled and told Harry he would get use to it, Harry didn't want to get use to it. He sure hoped Ron and Hermione won't start doing that in front of him, when they finally decided to get together.

Kane decided to take Harry's mind of it by asking if he wanted some mud, Harry admitted he didn't know what that was. Kane explained it was MDMA apparently it was a good high and good for beginners. But then Harry realised it was getting light out and he would have to start breakfast. However Kane said it would be good to help him get through his day.

He was shown how to do it through a rolled up note and decided to do three lines. He then jumped on the wall and used the porch shelter, to get up onto his window. He then went downstairs to start his day. Realising that he had totally forgotten about his struggles.


	7. Chapter 6

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

Let's get this show on the road.

The week ended up passing Harry in a blur. He would stay up every night with the gang, then get back to his room on time to get his daily prophet. He would flick through the pages looking for anything about Voldemort. Then end up ripping it up, when there was nothing. He would go downstairs and do breakfast. Then start his chores whilst the Dursleys were eating. Luckily he didn't have as many chores these days, so he was usually finished by lunch. He had his godfather to thank for that.

He would then go down to the shop, taking his invisibility cloak with him. Using his invisibility cloak to knick fags and alcohol. Then he would sit down at the park and smoke a fag. Swinging on his favourite swing. During this time his mind would just keep on going over Voldemort, seeing him rise out of the ashes. Almost as if Voldemort was a demon rising from the dead.

Then Cedric who's dead form would never leave Harry's mind. Cedric would say stuff to Harry, like the fact Harry was the one who was supposed to die. He would ask Harry how many people had to die for him. He would tell him the boy who lived or do you mean the boy who murdered. These were the worst, he could never get those cold dead eyes to leave him. Those eyes which use to hold so much joy and emotion. Just cold and dead to his mind. He would then look in the bins scouring for newspapers, anything that could hold a connection with Voldemort. He felt so alone.

Then he would get back under his invisibility cloak and go to Dudley's gang's, so called hideout. It was really just a small den in the bushes by the bridge. He would knick some drugs and see what Dudley has been up to recently. He would sneak upstairs and try getting sleep. However his dreams usually seemed to be about some weird corridor. He preferred these dreams to the graveyard dreams. So he tried to focus on these dreams instead. He would then be woken up by Petunias screech for him to make dinner. Normally waking him before he had nightmares.

He would make dinner then go upstairs for a fag. Vernon would usually make a remark about Harry starving himself. But Harry didn't care. Then he would try to do some homework, but it was usually then that his comedown would hit. He would try to sneakily listen to the 10 o'clock news downstairs. The Dursleys however made that as difficult as possible. He would then go up to bed when Dudley came in, not wanting to see Dudley whilst he was on a comedown.

Then he would enjoy a spliff out of the window, until he heard snores from the Dursleys bedroom. He would then take his drugs and alcohol to Jake, Kane and Dani. Harry would spend the whole night experimenting with all the different Drugs. Whilst learning how you take them. Then repeat. That's how it had been all week.

However when Harry got down to Jake's front garden that day, he noticed they weren't in their usual spot on the bench. Seeing the front door wide open Harry knocked on it. He was soon asked to come in by Jake's mum. Harry had yet to meet Jake's mum, but on first sight she seemed really lovely and welcoming. He introduced himself as Hazza and felt really good when she said she had heard lots of good things about him.

He was pretty sure she had heard the story of him falling out his bedroom window. As she had an amused look and kept looking at his bruised cheek. He was told that they were all in the back garden, because they were arguing and didn't want to wake up the neighbors. Harry was a bit shocked at that, they were usually the ones trying to wake the neighbors. By chucking glass bottles at windows and setting off car alarms and generally being loud. Before long Dani came in and told Harry and Jake's mum that her and Jake had broken up. Apparently he had cheated on her. Harry decided to go out to the front garden with her. He knew she didn't have a very stable life and this was a big blow for her. He was just about to comfort her when he noticed something rather odd.

Over at Mrs Figg's house was what looked like Snape over at her doorstep. He decided to lean over and take a closer look indeed it was. It was then that the penny dropped, no way Dumbledore had people spying on him. How dare he. Noticing that he was angry Dani asked what was up. Harry explained that the Headmaster from his school had sent teachers to spy on him. She found this rather odd so Harry decided he would have to tell the gang what he done. Dread filled him, he almost felt as if he had been exposed to dementors.

He decided to go inside the house not wanting to be spied on, he told the gang that he accidental killed a classmate and they were obviously checking on him. He knew they weren't checking him for that reason, but it weren't far from the truth. To Harry's horror Kane and Jake said they understood.

Kane explained that one time he was angry and he couldn't get drugs, so went over the top with his knife and killed someone at a barn party. Jake said he accidentally ran someone over when he went on a joyride, without knowing how to drive. Harry was shocked, but felt a bit better about himself.

They all decided to go all out that night, Harry really wanted to forget everything. They done everything using up all their supply. Harry had a great laugh with them, until the others ended up passed out. Harry decided to use up the last of the weed and light himself a bong. After that he would force the gang to wake up. However it was only as Harry was doing his bong, that he realised something weird.

There was a certain part of the kitchen, in the corner, where the smoke wasn't going. Then it struck Harry, anger filled his whole being. Dumbledore had sent spies on him. Jakes front door was always wide open. He saw Snape at Mrs Figg's, actually that was very odd itself. What did Mrs Figg have to do with Dumbledore. That didn't change the fact however, that Snape was invisible and in this very room.

He had watched Harry inject himself, do pills, drink vodka and smoke all manners of substances. He now knew he was in trouble, big trouble. Even wizards must know what drugs were. Noticing all the others were passed out he supposed it was probably best if he went home. He didn't fancy Snape revealing himself and giving Harry a lecture. Heck he was too fucked to even think or see straight. However fucked he was though, he could figure out Snape was invisible, in this very room and he was in a lot of trouble.

He stumbled out the house, almost breaking the TV on his way out. It took him a good ten minutes to climb onto his window. He almost fell out around five times. As he was in bed, Harry supposed that at least he would hear something from the wizarding world now. Not even Ron and Hermione had sent him an owl. Harry realised it was only four and he might as well try to sleep.


	8. Chapter 7

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

OK let's begin :)

Harry awoke screaming out, he had another one of his nightmares. Cedric's cold dead eyes, Voldemort's haunting laugh. Going around his mind, over and over. He heard a tapping on the window and groaned. He decided to go get his daily prophet, but was surprised when he also got a letter. It didn't look as if it was in Dumbledore's handwriting so he wondered who it could be from. Harry quickly looked through his daily prophet, however there was nothing about Voldemort. He chucked it in the bin.

He opened the letter and found it was from Snape, he was already on a comedown and his day was getting worse by the second. He read the letter then ripped it up in fury. Apparently Snape had assigned him detention at the end of the school year and he didn't go. Well he couldn't remember much from the end of the school year anyway, he was in to much shock to really take anything in.

He could remember Snape having a go at him when he had done some pranking. However he couldn't remember much from the conversation, he guessed this was when he was assigned detention. Apparently Snape was coming round to his in a weeks time, so he could complete the detention. But Harry wasn't stupid he knew the real reason he was coming, it was because of last night.

Why couldn't Dumbledore come here and talk to him about it. Was Dumbledore too disgusted with him to even see him. Anger filled Harry's whole being. Well Dumbledore and Snape can stuff it, he decided he was going to have the week of his life. Harry decided to get changed, then he put his invisibility cloak around him and climbed out the window.

Now he knew he was being spied on, he didn't want anyone following him. Harry reached the end of the road, then flagged the knight bus. Just half an hour later he was back at Privet Drive, with around a grand in notes on him. He decided to go straight to Jake's and ask where the closest dealer was. Jake explained that he was going on a camping trip with his mates this week. He asked if Harry wanted to come, he said yes straight away his mind made up. He knew Dumbledore wouldn't like it, which made his decision easy.

Jake told him that there was a dealer a couple of streets down, he went with Harry to get the drugs. He explained that some dealers are funny about dealing to people they don't know, as they don't want to get caught. Jake said he would introduce Harry, then he should be able to get them himself. When Harry got back to Privet Drive this time, his bag was laden with drugs.

Harry decided to take his invisibility cloak and go down to the shop and knick a load of alcohol and fags. He didn't want to run out on this trip.

When Harry climbed back through his window, he decided to pack all his stuff for the trip. Not much later he met up with Jake, Kane and Dani. Jake's mum was taking them to the campsite. As soon as Harry got to the campsite Jake introduced him to all his friends, there were around twenty of them altogether. He couldn't even remember their names.

Wanting to forget everything about Snape and Dumbledore, Harry decided to get started straight away. After doing quite a few ecstasy shots, he decided to try climbing the trees around the campsite. Until he ended up falling out, then he was offered some acid something he had yet to do. He couldn't remember much from after that.

Harry awoke up the next morning stuck in a wheelbarrow, in the middle of the field. He realised he had cuts and bruises everywhere, he felt terrible. It was then that everyone got out the tents and went over to him. They told him about all the crazy stuff he did.

Apparently he let one of the lads do a henna tattoo on his ankle, he looked at his ankle and it was a tattoo of a spliff. Harry had to admit it didn't look bad. He was told he shagged Dani behind a bush, he just thought it was an interesting way to lose his virginity. Then he was told he was running down the road naked and almost got ran over. Apparently he was dared to do it, Harry just found this pretty funny.

He was passed out in the wheelbarrow when they decided to do wheelbarrow races. They all decided to shave off his eyebrows, he was horrified to find they were actually shaved off. Then they drew a mustache on him, he didn't care as much about that. He couldn't remember much from the night before, but he decided it must of been fun. It also made him forget about everything which was good. So he decided to go and get fucked again, he deserved some fun anyway.


	9. Chapter 8

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

OK I think my last chapter was pretty terrible hopefully this one is slightly better. This is a really short chapter, however it needed doing.

Harry couldn't remember much from the past week, all he could remember was that he had fun. He could remember crashing a car into a tree, he had no idea how he got hold of a car though. He got his ear pierced somehow, but it obviously weren't professionally done. Because he had one of his teeth through the hole. He didn't want to ask if it fell out, or ripped out. He had also nicked a red bandana from someone, he thought the look really suited him.

He remembered that he had a motorbike race with Kane, he was pretty sure he crashed again. He couldn't remember much else though. He had cuts and bruises everywhere. He could remember being really out of it, he knew he had done non stop drugs and alcohol all week. His whole stash was gone.

On the way back to the Dursley's he drank the rest of his alcohol, however he only had one and a half bottles left. By the time he got to the Dursley's, he was pretty drunk. He decided that it was time to give the Dursley's some payback. He took his vodka bottle and decided to smash Vernon's new car. He hit it again and again. For every time they hit him, for every time they made him feel worthless. For every time they starved him and for putting him in the cupboard under the stairs.

Whilst he was doing this Harry heard shouting from somewhere, but didn't give it much thought. After a while Harry leaned on the car in exhaustion, he noticed that the car looked like it had been crushed. However just as he was about to pass out, he saw a dark figure by the gate. Then he finally ended up asleep.


	10. Chapter 9

All Harry potter characters and so forth belong to J.K Rowling and Warner Brothers unfortunately I am neither and never will be.

Might use some content from the books, any content you recognise doesn't nor will ever belong to me.

All warnings are at the beginning of the story and to be used throughout.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while I've been really busy. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Next thing Harry knew he was being dragged up to his bedroom. When the door was closed he saw he was with Snape, he had completely forgotten about Snape coming over.

"What do you think you're doing, weren't you explicitly told you had to stay on Privet Drive"."I'm not surprised just like your father lazy arrogant weak"."You show no respect, ruining your poor relatives possessions...".

Harry's head was banging he couldn't even think about what Snape was saying. He didn't even care. He already knew he was worthless he didn't need reminding. Snape had giving him a piece of parchment and was told to write 'I must follow all rules instructed'.

Snape left the room saying something about speaking to his relatives. Harry could just imagine how well they would get on. He started writing his lines but his hand couldn't stay still, he had to put all his effort into writing all the lines well. After he got halfway through he felt exhausted, he needed just something to strive off his cravings.

He decided to have a fag out the window, he guessed Snape wouldn't even know what he was doing anyway. He hadn't said anything about the drugs, but then he supposed if Snape did he would have to admit to following him. He definitely wasn't going to bring it up.

He was halfway through his fag when Snape bursted in. "So Potter... WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, PUT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW". In a huff Harry put his fag out and returned to his lines.

In a deadly voice Snape started speaking to him. "So Potter I have managed to get you're relatives to keep you here after your disgraceful behaviour". "You are not to leave this room, you are officially grounded". "Your relatives told me all about your behaviour, I have the greatest sympathy for them". "If only they could speak to the headmaster...".

Harry interrupted Snape by asking what Dumbledore was doing. "That is none of your business is it Potter, I ensure you the headmaster has much more to get on with than worrying about you". "Now if I've heard you've left this room, you will wish you've never been born". "I'll check on you next week" and with a swish of his cloak Snape was gone.

Harry passed out on his bed, but next second his uncle came blundering in.

"AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE DONE FOR YOU BOY YOU REPAY US LIKE THIS". "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT CAR COST US..." Vernon started punching Harry "WE GAVE YOU FOOD OF OUR TABLE, WE GAVE YOU THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR HOW DARE YOU..."

After his uncles tirade and aching all over he finally passed out. He woke up screaming out, he forgot how bad his nightmares we're. He felt like crying, but he didn't, he didn't deserve to cry he felt lost. Everything was blurred and horrible and all he could think off was how everything was his fault.

Before he knew it he had his silver potions knife out. He couldn't explain why he was doing it, but he felt like he was finally punishing himself. Relief washed over him, he didn't feel so dead anymore. It felt right, it felt like a comfort, like finally he was in control.

Finally feeling content he could go to sleep, just dreaming about that corridor and door.

Meanwhile over at Hogwarts Snape was shouting about Harry to Dumbledore.

"You wouldn't believe it he SMASHED UP their car, didn't I tell you he was INSOLENT". "Here we were running round trying to find him, when he was probably having the TIME OF HIS LIFE".

"So I suppose you didn't find out where the boy was then Severus" Dumbledore replied.

"I asked but he DIDN'T EVEN REPLY I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't even listening the ungrateful brat". "Do you REMEMBER what I told you last week".

"Yes I am aware Severus but I'm sure he has ceased his drug use by now"

"YOU DIDN'T SEE HIM, he looked awful, he needs to be controlled". "His relatives told me he is quite the handle".

Dumbledore cut in "So Severus do you actually have anything to tell me, other than the boy is safe".

"He's been grounded, hopefully he doesn't do another disappearing act".

"If that is the case Severus, if you excuse me, I will have to let the order know that the boy is safe"

Understanding that he had been dismissed Snape strode out the room.


End file.
